Normalizing menstruation empowers equality. Period.

Every month, millions of adolescent girls around the world are experiencing the struggles of the miserable cycle of pain, cramps and aches, shame, discomfort and anxiety. Now let's be quick about this topic. I didn't plan on blogging about this but it just popped out of my mind while typing the previous blog before this.

I've read from somewhere before that she had an experience one time wherein she was at school and she had her period. She then asked her friend from a higher grade level if she has a sanitary pad, that girl had none that time, so what that girl did was--she went into her classroom, stood in front and shouted it to the whole class. 

The girl was taken aback with her friend's action and almost hid behind the wall thinking that she would be made fun of and mortified. However, she was surprised that no one made face, not even a single guy, laughed and said anything bad about it. Instead everybody, including boys and girls, started searching. Isn't that nice?

I mean, people shouldn't be disgusted by it nowadays. It is time to finally abolish the absurd silence and shame that shroud this natural biological event. Menstruation, a sign of good health, must be normalized, and celebrated. Right?

Source: Google Photos (Pinterest/We Heart It)

Of course, I also have my own story for that. I was in 7th grade when I unexpectedly had my monthly period. I didn't have any emergency pad with me, for I was young back then and not very prepared for unpredictable events.

I told my friends that and secretly asked if they had, unfortunately, we're all the same who had none. It was our break at that moment, so we're lucky that we could buy a pad at the canteen. But then, the canteen doesn't have sanitary pads for sale. 

I thought I was unlucky and that day was not my fortunate day. However, a 7th grader student like us who's close enough at our spot might've heard our commotion. She approached us and told me that she has an extra pad in her bag. 

So, on the other hand, we're still lucky enough to stumble upon a generous and compassionate girl. Imagine? She was about to buy her snack and eat, but she chose to give me a hand first. We went back to the classrooms and went on theirs to get her extra and give it to me. In fact, she gave me her whole pouch which contains her extra pads and tissues. I'm really grateful for Jamhel's generosity (I do hope she'll see this), until now, our first encounter belongs to the most memorable ones.

My point here is that: menstruation as a taboo is not about manners or decency. Alienating conversations about menstruation, hiding menstrual hygiene products, and worse, shaming women for leaking or mentioning their periods, only perpetuates the stigma of it. 

This fuels insecurities in girls about their bodies, and limits their capacities to ask for help or seek their own normalcy. Furthermore, it limits men’s capacities to develop empathy for their counterparts who are performing the same jobs they are whilst losing significant amounts of blood and suffering side effects ranging from pains and cramps to fatigue and even debilitating migraines. Perpetuating the stigma of menstruation limits the development of girls and women in the world, and is in direct contrast to the teachings of the equality of rights between men and women.

Menstruation is nothing to be ashamed of, because it's part of what makes us human.

Can you lend your shoulder for a moment?

I got used into going to the mall alone to buy my own needs and stuffs for school, using my own money given by my parents. I need new stationery? Then I go to the mall alone, ride a public jeepney, pay for my own fare, and directly buy what I need. There's a book sale at National Book Store? Then I'll be there alone, accompanying myself, and searching for the books I wanted all by myself.

I got used to it. Although I'm not an introverted type of person, I can enjoy my own company. I have lots of comrades to be with, and it's happy being with them. However, it's not like I literally need other people's presence to keep my self sane. I've practiced being entertained with only my presence, the nature's peace and alluring picture, and my thoughts in silence.

One time, I went to the mall, alone, to buy my school essentials. Of course I rode a jeepney, still alone, but with various strangers inside.

As usual--since this is what I always do--I took my seat on the last part near the entrance-exit, wore my earphones, listened to a calming music, eyed the other moving vehicles outside while continuously observing my surroundings.

A few minutes after, I felt like my seatmate was drowsing off. I didn't looked at him directly and just took a glance at his direction using my peripheral vision. From there, I saw his eyes were shut, evidently sleeping.

I continued to mind my own business and withdrew my thoughts about the middle-aged man beside me. I roamed my eyes, appreciating the beauty of the heavy traffic, the vehicles' smoke, and those random people walking at the middle of the road to sell peanuts or cold water. 

Source: Pinterest

I was already anticipating to arrive at the mall--eager to immediately buy what I need, and go home. Suddenly, I felt a slightly heavy thing on my shoulder which I wasn't able to identify at first.

When I looked at it, I realized that it was the man's heavy weight that was diverted on me, he's clearly sleeping, and his head was already falling at its side.

I was frightened thinking that he might be faking his sleep but he's actually awake and that's just his tactic to do something immoral. 

It's not right to think that way towards an innocent person who hasn't done anything to you, so I didn't say anything to disturb him, but I was worried for my safety so I kept alert. I embraced my backpack on top of my lap and fixed my belongings.

I observed his stance, that's when I noticed that he's wearing a typical work attire. He's also holding his wallet where a picture of his children and his wife was displayed on the transparent part of its insides.

At that moment, I realized that I did the right thing. I might've been scared and thought inappropriate thoughts, but I was relieved that I didn't moved aside and distance myself from him.

I don't know anything. But the thing that comes into my mind that time was: what if he's really tired from his work? What if he worked hard for his family so he's exhausted and needed at least a few minutes to rest?

I'm tearing up thinking about it right now, because that time, I've had the thought of my father. 

We're not there with him, to take care of him whenever he's tired from work or even sick. I do hope he's always doing good, because I know, the Lord is always guiding him like what I've been praying for. 

So I'm really thankful that I didn't let my prejudice control my actions. I let the exhausted man--a father of children--to rest on my shoulder and sleep. However, when the jeepney halted to gather some passengers along the way, that's when he realized that he's sleeping on my shoulders. He gave me an apologetic look and said sorry. I returned it with a nod and a tiny smile. I waved my hands, gesturing him that it's alright and it's nothing to worry about.

If you came this far, thank you very much. I hope you've picked up what this blog implies. We don't know what's behind every person's appearance, the story behind their tired faces, and the reason behind them sleeping on the jeepney.

I hope if you'll happen to encounter this kind of circumstance, I really do hope that you'll be generous to lend your shoulder for them. Your safety may be at risk--so just be aware--but the feeling of having the chance to help in a very small and simple way is fulfilling.

A life well lived

As much as we wanted to stay and live on Earth for a long period of time, we cannot foresee what the future holds us. We don't have the reign to know what's going to happen, we are not able to control our lives, together with us not having the power to dominate our life span. 

Everything is unpredictable. A human life is a borrowed life, and only Him, the almighty, has the ability to know and control. 

We never know when will our lives be taken away. The commonly used quotation, "Time is gold" might be irking your ears off already, but the real essence of it must be absorbed. We only have a finite time on Earth, it is a valuable resource, therefore, it's better to do things as quickly as possible. Conversely, we shall be doing it correctly, or even with great excellence. 

There's a saying, "We only live once, but when you use it well, once is enough."

Source: Pinterest

Each day must be another chance for us to be productive. Be upbeat and optimistic, for it will be our own progress. In time, all the time we've spent, and all the efforts we've performed will be paid off once we get the results that we're looking for.

We might not be the ones to change the world, but we will create our own story that we'll be proud of. That's how we'll leave a positive influence in the society. 

Remember, a life well lived cannot be easily forgotten.

Doing your best than being the best

Previously, we've discussed about the real rivals of ours in life-- and that is ourselves. Not your neighbor, not your classmate, not anyone you know but yourself. We waste our energy competing, feeling like we have to be better than x. After so much time competing, there’s no time left for doing our own thing.

So today, we will be digging and acquiring more knowledge about it but in different context. After all, we all seek for self-improvement, don't we?

Friends, always keep in mind that you're unique, you're special, and an original. There's no one like you, so why bother comparing yourself to others? It's pointless. No need to keep an eye to someone else's success; look onto yourself, find out how you'll be a better person, and try focusing on becoming your best self instead.

Source: Pinterest

Have you ever regretted a deed you've performed thinking that you should've done better? 

You once had, right? 

The goal is not to be better than the other man, but your previous self. I remember our adviser when we're in fourth grade, she always tells us this quote: "Always try to perform better than you did yesterday." I can still remember them until today. Shout out to my elementary classmates! I know you're all still familiar with those lines. 

So whatever it is that you do of significance, willingly and graciously, you have to prove to yourself that you can excel. It's not enough to be fine, passable, and acceptable. Try your best. Do beyond the satisfaction. Concentrate on ways to perform well. Because the preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.

Set goals and seek challenges. Change equals self-improvement. Push yourself to places you haven't been before. With that, you're also unconsciously becoming a role model to those who are coming behind you.

Instead of competing with other people, you are setting your own benchmarks for success, it's likely that you feel more relaxed and in control.

When you're simply doing your best, you feel excited rather than anxious. There is no tension in your body and you feel present and at ease. Your heartbeat and breathing are normal, because you are not in a race.

According to Mr. Remy Blumenfeld, one of my favorite author on Forbes, "Ambition can be all about achieving success on your own terms, whereas competitiveness means striving to be more successful than others."

Now, it's you who has the control. Will you be an ambitious flesh or a competitive human being? You be the judge.

Do your best than be the best.

You vs. you

We are positive to think that the game of life is played against other people, the world revolves around us competing with each other.

In fact, we are ought to believe that the real competition is outside of us, those who are able to take away the most important things and most important people from our hands. In this world with only counted spots, those who are the most worthy in it can fill them.

Honestly, no such spots ever existed. 

It is us who build the thought and it is us who conceive the reverie which renders our own negativity. When as a matter of fact, we should be forming ourselves uniquely, then using our own abilities, we'll leave a positive impact in the society.

You are not in competition with the people around you.

You are in competition with your pride.

You are in competition with your laziness.

You are in competition with your bad habits.

You are in competition with your iniquity.

You are in competition with your inner voice.

You are in competition with your shortcomings.

You are in competition with your fears.

You are in competition with your insecurities.

In the end of the day, it is you vs. you.

Source: Tumblr

Life is meant to be a journey of continuous progress; not an occasional or constant competition with others. 

You are not only as good enough as you are better with someone else. You are not only as pretty as you are prettier than someone else. This way of measuring ourselves has a toxic influence in our lives. You are silently comparing yourself with others and silently competing with them. Little did you know, you are also silently damaging yourself. But once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.

One day, we must wake up and recognize that it is us who create that success. And that self-efficacy is only built when we stop looking at others as our enemies, and start looking at our shadows.

If you continuously compete with others, you'll just become bitter. But if you continuously compete with yourself, you'll become better. As long as you are still trying to fight your way to the top, you will never really win. There will always be someone more attractive and loved than you are, so it's a losing game. It's not an accurate measurement.

So instead, say the following words out loud and make them your mindset:

"I am in competition with no one. I run my own race. I have no desire to play the game of being better in anyway, shape, or form. I just aim to improve and to be better than before."

Remember, a flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.

More than what we see

Some usually believe in the saying: "We'll never know it was real until our naked eyes see it." Hindi ako sigurado kung may nag-e-exist ba talagang ganyang quote, imbento ko lang talaga 'yan dahil tinatamad na naman akong mag-fact check. 

As people always say, "To see is to believe."

I have to disagree. I know religious people are with me. Ngunit hindi naman ako sobrang banal, talagang napapangiwi lang ako sa tuwing may bumabanggit sa kasabihang 'yan. I believe in God, but the mentioned quotation frames up some to do the otherwise. Kaya may mga taong Atheist, iyong mga hindi naniniwala sa Diyos. Sa kasamaang palad, mas pinaniniwalaan nila ang Siyensya.

I have nothing against their beliefs and I respect them, partially. The thing is, I believe that Science and faith go together. As a famous scientist once said, "The strength of Science is in the faith that there is, indeed, God!"

Pinahapyaw ko lamang ang topic na 'yon dahil mayroon akong ibabahagi sa inyo. Nito lang nakaraang araw ay nag binge-watch ako ng mga videos ng isang KPOP group na aking inii-stan dahil nawalan na ako ng maisusulat at naghahanap ako ng inspirasyon. At salamat nga naman ay ibang klaseng inspirasyon ang ipinagkaloob sa akin.

To make the long story short, they went into a place wherein they were adjured to meditate for their inner peace. The instructor (I'm not sure what to call the bald man so let me be) thereafter asked them, "Where do you think has more water, in the oceans or up the skies?"

A member answered, "Up the skies." And everyone agreed that clouds contains more water than the other option.

Then the instructor asked what was their reference for coming up with that answer. They responded with, "Water evaporation."

The instructor nodded and beamed with their answers. He gave them advice and some words of wisdom-- which I forgot to take note of his exact words. 

But what I've learned is that: There's more to life than what our bare eyes can perceive. Take a leap of faith and begin a wondrous life by believing. And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who always open their eyes but not their minds and their hearts will never find it.

"Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe." -Saint Agustin